Again.. Time age... no remember..
but yeah.. bro and me...
Hand in hand for a change..

His physics projects were super cool.. held me in awe...
making battery lighted bulbs.. making ringing bells... typical smaller class but long forgotten little

projects....
I used to sit around watching him go about his way... cutting wires.. fixing them.. making suitable

sized boxes.. collecting batteries.. seperating wire strands... making them of appropriate

lengths... wow...
And the joy i used to feel when his work succeeded.. It was pride.. it was wonder.. it was

worship..
He used to let me help him once in a while.. picking up nuts bolts.. screwdrivers.. counting the

strands.. catching hold of fly away papers.. and threads.. n stuff like that..
and i used to feel so so so honoured in doing all tht.. maybe i believed hes the next Thomas

Edison or something.. (well i wouldnt be surprised if he is.. i still believe he is one in disguise...)

One evening he was at his work.. and me as usual loitering around him hoping he will need me to

do something..
ok i agree i was bugging him.. begging him to actually lemme help him..
so he relented n asked me to help him cut the outer covering of the wire he was using to make

the strands visible...
feeling quite elated i jumped in joy.. held on to one end of the wire.. and he began slicing the case

from his side with his new pen knife.. ok pen blade...
the cover started to peel off slowly.. have you ever seen the peeling of wire??? it kinda curls up if

its done thinly and all that..
i was watching it slowly opening up to reveal the strands inside.. shiny beautiful lovely brown

copper strands...
and then Wham.. the blade slipped from over the wire and slid neatly into my outstretched point

finger... neatly cutting open a part on the side of it...
oooohhhhhh.... bloooooooddddd......

my bro freaked.. i was in pain.... but all over in a zap.....
he never meant to... but he gave me a super duper gift...
i had this creepy cut on my finger and an awesome huge bandage on it... my finger looked like a

survivor of the star wars...

he gave me a whole week of awestruck fans and admirers.. i was the current inspiration.... wow....

"Do you wanna hear the story behind my wound..??????"

Vicks ki Goli le lo baba...

Time age.. i dont remember.. All i know is i was younger than 6th standard.
So my bro younger than 10th.
As natural we were double enthusiastic about hating each other. Sibbling rivalry and all.

Appa got Vicks tablets.. one for annu, one for me. Bro had his as soon as he got it.. and me being the ant kept it for later.
I wanted to enjoy it all i want. I would pass it every now and then luring me sitting there in the cupboard.. but i dint fall for the temptation. I wanted to enjoy it taking my own time... Yummm....

Next day morning... I pass it.. "Gudmorning Vicks ki goli.. hope you had a good night... I did.. and do you know i even dreamt of you.. yeah...!!!"
Afternoon... I pass it .. "Goodafternoon Vicks ki Goli... just you wait.. your time is approaching...."
I think.. I will eat it at around 7... can enjoy it at that lazy hour..

Evening.. First time I pass it... "Good evening Vicks ki goli.... only bout 2 more hours to go.. yipeeee..."

Evening.. Second time I pass it... "Oooooohhhh.... only 1 more hour to go.."

Evening... Third time.. " Hie Vicks ki goli.. oh.. Vicks ki goli? Vicks ki goli..? Where are you? Haloo..? Are you under the papers?? NO? Under dads watch? NO? Oh behind the bowl... No??.. Oh my.. Vicks ki Goliiiiiiii... where are you???..."

And there my brother is sitting in the corner... and why is his mouth bulging at on one side....?
"Annu... Ithi khatha...?" (What are you eating..?)

He smiles and goes... that Vicks ki Goli that was lying ownerless there...."

Oh vicks ki goli.. WHAT....??????????? Vicks ki goli... VICKS ki GOLI.....??????????
MY vicks ki goli....
Noooooooo......
absolutely NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......................

I scream and i rave... I jump.. I bang my foot.....
all the while crying.. "THAT WAS MY VICKS KI GOLI... just coz it was lying there you cant take it to be ownerless.. and it wasnt lying there... i had KEPT it there...."
"wwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh I wanted to eat it... (sniiffffff) i want it... (snifff sniffff...) waaaahahhhhhhhhhh....."

"You cant have it.. no you cant... I cant have you enjoying my Vicks ki Goliiiii..." I scream at the top of my voice...

My bro spat out ma Vicks ki goli.. half molten.... and it lay there in the soil...
I look at it.... I cry....
now all the more... Out of Guilt and Hurt.....

For the reason that Nobody got to enjoy that Vicks ki Goli..... what good did that do..???

I was split from my bro in our teenage when he chose to stay back here while Mom and me accompanied Dad on his transfer... I used to miss him bad there.. no one to play with... no one to share little jokes with.. no one to explore the new place and share views and comments on it... no one to fight with... It was all me and ma parents...
But the issue is not about that. Its about the ways I used to look for, to let my brother know I missed him.. and trying to find reasons for him to come with us... Any gesture to show that I cared for him. Like Pocket money. My wallet was always brimming with my hard earned savings those days. I dont remember how but i am sure it wasnt lavished upon me.
My bro always used to talk about getting himself a cricket bat. A "willow". And he was always talking bout saving for it. My parents used to give him fuel but it used to be used up in his daily stuff.. now I have no clue as to what.. And everytime we left here I used to part with a 100 bugs telling him this is for your savings for the bat. Slowly and gradually as it was to happen my treasury went empty... It broke my heart.. but it was all for my bro... and I was left a pauper.
My bro did get a bat.. but dunno whether it was with any help from me. I was left dried up and especially when I was in need of money.....and he dint help me for sure. He was always outta fuel. I now find it was a stupid thing to do coz me parents never deprieved him of any cash. He could have got a bat even if I hadnt poured out my wallet to him. I never found him thankful for what I did... maybe he was.. but i missed it.
Now he is working.. earning... But when I ask him for money.....



P.S: Please read on..



But when I ask him for money.. he digs into dads wallet and takes out more than a couple of notes.. he hands some over to me though the major part goes into his pocket... Life always turns back on us...

What? You thought I was being sentimental...???

We are bored.. what to do????
Me: Bro..lets play with my doll. See she closes her eyes when you make her sleep and opens them when you put her straight... See? See??? Tadaaaa.. Tadaaaaa....
Bro: Wow.... Great. Okay.. (Whatever.. I dont play with dolls..). Hey have you seen Hair burning???
Me: Yes.. its curls up na?? But why?? But its fun to watch..
Bro: Do you wanna see if hair burning..? Lets see what happens to your Dolly's hair. Lets see if it burns too.
Me: (Very much Fascinated..) Ummm.. Okay. But my Dolly...
Bro: Nothings gonna happen to your Dolly. You know I wouldnt do anything wrong... She will look the same.(Oh yes... verrrry beautiful.. [with a sinister smile]) We can see if your teddy burns too after that...
Me: Okay.
Bro: Get me the lighter.
I do so loyally. He gathers up dolly's hair and lights the lighter under it.. and Voila.. her hair starts burning.. Its really fascinating to watch.. and it gives out a smell too... oooh... hey watch out... dont burn it too much.
We watch it burn.. enjoy and stop.
Uh-Oh.. my Dolly doesnt look good anymore.. it looks so ugly.. and scary..
My Bro smiles.. : Ayyo.. what if amma sees..?
I m scared at the thought that it pushes out other thoughts.. Anger at me bro.. sadness of loss.... Its just what do we do now?? We frantically look around and find the safest place.. Among all the rubble on the shelf that runs round the room close to the ceiling. My Dolly goes to her new home.. well shes thrown up there outta sight. We heave a sigh of relief....
Bro: Lets see if your teddy burns..
For some reason, though I was dying to know what would happen, I said NO.. and thats why Teddy now named Legg is alive among us today.
The carcass of Dolly was found later after ages.. and was thrown away... No funeral.. no byes.. nothing.
Just some 'What the hell happened to her hair????'

Wisdom???????

See what I found when I went through my old old stuff..

Be a Friend to make a Friend.

Are you looking for a friend who would be there only for you? And you come across someone who is alone looking for someone who would share his/her thoughts. Would you take him/her as your friend? Or would you be a friend to him/her?
Being a friend to someone is much more better than having a friend. Seeing someone smile just because of You --- doesn't that give you pleasure? Hearing the other's sorrows and seeing that the person is comforted just because of You --- doesnt that give you pleasure? Don't you feel happy when your suggested measures to a person to overcome his/her problems become successful? Don't you feel great when others trust you? "It takes years to build up trust but only seconds to break it."
A smile can do wonders. Don't you smile when the person whom you helped looks at you and smiles lovingly? Isn't it nice to be loved by someone and to give love in return too? But this friendship, this trust, this love.. it should not be one-sided affair, it must be present on both sides. "Someone likes you, give love in return too, if someone doesn't like you, still give love in return."
Be nice to someone and they be nice to you in return, be harsh and they start hating you.
After all this you find that you have found your friend--- You have found someone to love, to talk to, to smile with and to be with. Then there ends the hunt.
So
Be a Friend, to make a Friend.



And this is also signed Jo.. that was the nickname i had back when I was in the 8-9th std. These words are the same as I had written that time.. with no changes. No editing done. In the modern view.. all these are meaningless. The modern view is more like 'Be your own friend.. nobody cares to befriend you'. You can't know whom to trust and whom not to.. and wouldn't know who would be making a fool of you.
Thanks a lotttt....

Brick by Brick..

And there Our Brick Laying ceremony is done. Our house can officially start taking shape.
It was a simple affair attended by only a few, that would be Us 4 and the Pujari and the architect and some workers and Manjanna. The whole thing took not more than 45 mins and then we were zooming back to get away from the heat. The heat was to quote my bros words 'Devastating'.
It really drained the hell outta us that the only thing we could do was lie around in our sanctuary called home.. and even then we were sweating like hell. I had to squeeze out my pillow off the sweat twice.. thats killing all exaggeration. And Charlie was in giving me company al the time. He slept throughout with his arms stretched back over the head like me. We were such a pair. And poor bro.. he had to get to his work.... wonder how he fared..
So coming back to the topic.. the work would start soon... And I Cant Wait for it to get over...
Am so impatient... but that cants be affroded in cases like these lest you wanna live holding your roof and i mean that literally over ur head.. so i can wait.. no problem.
The prospect of atlast having a room all fir myself is toooooo inviting. I am gonna be very hard hearted and am not gonna let anybody put up any of their stuff in my room... Not even one small dark corner. Uh-huh. Nope.
And of course I will take over ma bros room coz.. hey he doesnt really need such a big room does he??? And my friends would surely visit so... woooow..... it would really be cool...
So not going more into details for fear of jinxing any progress.... I wish all Luck to our little house...
Insha-Allah...!!!!

Yipeeeee........

Continuing with Orissa...
I remember the place used to be packed with monkeys during summer... Come summer you dont see human beings.. only monkeys.. well whats the difference anyways..
We dint have this problem in the first house but in the second what with us being on the second floor.. in proximity to tree tops.. we always found some or the other monkey on guard at our doors..
Our television was placed in my parents room.. which had the famous balcony mentioned in the previous blog..
Monkeys found haven in our balcony.. and i m sure if we hadnt been careful we would have had to give up our beds to the monkeys too...

One day at lunch which as always i was first to gobble up and finish.. i picked up a 'pappad' and an 'Orange' for dessert and made my way to the bedroom.. and planted myself in front of the TV.. something or the other was on.. but i dont remember anything that had happened before nor after this...
I had settled in bed.. and there were a group of chattering monkeys at our balcony as always.. nothing new..
Well by now you would have guessed what happened..
well I had no clue then... so there i was watching TV innocently.. a little girl of 4 munching on pappad.. waiting to finish it to peel the orange when a HUGE SUPER SIZED MONKEY comes bounding into the bedroom.... i watch it in slow motion... my brain processes the affair... I scream.. i throw the Orange over my head and run to the other room and hide my head under the pillows..... My family still at lunch dont understand a thing... they just hear my small muffled scream.. see me running outta the room.. and watch me bewildered..They rush to the room and see the monkey happily strut away with the Ripe Juicy Big Orange... and get the whole episode right..
That was my first brush with my kind... and it still feels super..
My family says i was brilliant to have thrown the Orange at the monkey.. but little do they know it had accidently dropped outta my hands in fear..???
Cant guess what would have happened otherwise... unlike what others say the monkey would have attacked me.. i think it would have been a classic moment where the monkey would have come bounding over to me.. and would have held out its hand and i would have shook it understanding the unspoken and we would have had a jam sharing the BEEEEG ORANGE....
Shit.. Opportunity lost....

Back in the 1980s.... well not that far back... Lets start again..
My early years of life began in Orissa.. well i was born here alright.. but we had shifted there before my vision and memory process grew.... not that i remember much bout Orissa too..
I just remember we had fun there... a new place.. new culture.. new language.. new political scenario.....
and the four of us for each other..

The first some years were spent in a small house attached to another where our owners lived.. of which i dont remember much except for the girl there named 'Baby'.
Especially coz she was a pain in the ass.. me even at that age knew what that meant.. She used to be the main character in all the episodes that happened there..
Like that time when we were all playing Blindman on the terrace.. and who was blindfolded bro?? Not me surely..
Well whoever it was ... i remember her toppling over the wall.. and my bros hand hanging over the parapet extended in a vain attempt to catch her..
And then the scene of her lying on the ground below... and pieces after that.. and the reilef that she was ok except for a small wound on her forehead.. and how it was held that my bro had pushed her while playing and that was how she had lost her footing and all that.. while my poor bro was nowhere near her.. I think....
She and her younger bro used to come over to our place and scream the house down.. and destroy our things and jump on our sofa.. and whenever something went wrong.. it was always blamed on my bro.. (Well that helped him brace himself for what was lying in store for him in his future ahead.. the number of times Neenakka got away unscathed after doing the worst of the worstest mischiefs.. and my bro bearing the brunt..)
We have had good days with her too.. but well surely i dont remember..
Heeeeeeee......

We had to shift house I dont remember why.. but the next one was a second floor of a 2 storeyed building..
This was more on the roadside. so i remember seeing all the horrible scenes of the curfews and riots that used to break out frequently, unfold in front of my eyes.. unless my ma got me inside and closed the doors..
That palce was a mess when such things come up..
I remember me sticking my head out of our balcony one day... when suddenly i saw people running around screaming wildly and setting things ablaze... and shouting slogans.. and in minutes the police (ever ready... coz there wasnt a day when these things did not happen in atleast one end of the whole state) chasing everybody out.. n down the street..
I remember seeing a young man run into his house and closing the door on the policemen.
And imagine the nerve of him when they left him alone.. He put his head outta his window and stuck his tongue out at the policeman nearby.... Oh wow... the cop just couldnt stand it.. and he barged into the house and dragged the youngster out by the back of his shirt collar and bundled him into the jeep with a dozen others and drove away..
I can still see his mothers face blurred in my memory crying out for forgiveness, begging them to not take her son away.....
Well the man should have thought of this plight beforehand..
Hard Luck..

I am an emotional fool.. have always been. You show me a droopy face and i would fall for your words.. and you show me a drop of tear and i would lick your boots to not see the next. Well its made me an easily manipulatable creature.. so vulnerable and am now learning to come out of it. Softies have no life..
heeeee......
Well me bro had learnt this trait of mine even long before i recognised it in me.. and well like any other fierce personality he had very well mastered the technique of using this to his advantage.
Remember bro.. how you used to make me do your stuff and chores with just a "Plz, Roopee.. plz...."? Hahhahahaaaaa...
And me the ever fool was always running around doing what he wanted just coz i couldnt stand seeing his sad and crumpled face.
Well he could and still can pull the most pathetic face that would melt me to the bones.. and make me wake up from the deepeat of my sleep to bring him a bottle of water from the kitchen.....
When we were kids.. and when he wanted me to do something for him just for the reason that he was too lazy to move.. he used to just use some crazy dialogue like.. 'its coz u dont love me na?' or 'plz roopee i m your one and only bro na..'.
Then one day came a cartoon 'The Ugly Duckling' with the most touching story ever.. and a very tragic song for when the duckling is kicked outta the family for being ugly.... I still remember the horrible song..
'Theres no one beside me, no one to guide me.. i am all on my own...... Ooooon my own.... OOOnnnn my own....'

Oh my God.....!!!! that song just killed me... the time i heard it i was just so overwhelmed with emotions.. After which i couldnt help but whimper in pain whenever i heard the song....
My saddist of a bro got hold of the sentiments i had for that song.. and for quite some time of my child years he used to sing me that song with a puppy dog look in his eyes whenever i refused to do something for him.. and yes.. the sentimental fool i was just easily slid into the trap.....

There was also another song that came up but was soon worn out because i grew outta it coz it wasnt really
sentimental. That one went 'Orions arms are wide enough to hold us both together.. although we are worlds apart.. i did cross the stars for you......'

But really the Ugly duckling song... did all that my bro wanted me to.. and even now the mere thought of it racks my nerves.... And whenever he comes up with 'Hey Roo.. listen to this.. remember having heard this?' question everytime he gets a new tone on his mobile.. my heart just clutches with fear for the thought of it being by any chance the Ugly Duckling song.....

Me bros undaunted talent..!!!

Memories are not easily dead... and memories down on paper... cannot really be killed.. of course unless you burn the paper or tear it away..
But today am gonna introduce you to my brothers talent... my brothers real cool talent..
its still alive.. hes still passionate bout it..
Songs.. my bro can pen down awesome songs..
he has ever been singing songs.. and making them up for the circumstance.. i think its really outstanding..
to first get words fit fot the situation and then fitting them into a tune and that too in less than a minute..
INCREDIBLE..!!!

I'm gonna pen down extracts from some of his old songs i stumbled upon while cleaning all the junk in his room..
These are one of a kind and cannot be found anywhere else.
They have copyrights so beware of copying them..
So i bring to you a few words of his works.... exclusive and live

1. From jungle deer's skin
a maaraar made a drum..
From jungle deer's skin
a maaraar made a drum....
When hit by stick laughs the drum
Marks of festivals on the drum.....


2. Oh crow princess
Black bride..
Where is the nest?
Your where is the nest....???

3. Ek andheri marusthal ki raah par
Tandi hawa mere baalon mein..
thodi garam colita ki khushboo..
ut rahi thi hawa mein..
upar thodi dhuuri par, maine dekha
ek chinbin roshani..
mera sir bhaari ho gaya aur aakhon ki
roshani kam ho gayi..
mujhe raath ko rukna tha.
Woh darwaze pe khadi thi
mission ki ghanti baji..
maine mujse hi socha
ye swarg hai ya narg..
usne ek mombathi jalayi
aur raastha dikhaya
corridor se awaaze aa rahi thi
maine socha woh keh rahi thi

Aiye Hotel Nai Dilli mein
aisi pyaari jagah..
aisa pyaara chehra...
bahut kamare Hotel Nai Dilli mein..
saal ke kisi bhi din aao
yahan tumhe milegaa........


4. Bhains sipahee..
jaaton se bhara sir uskaaa...

Ek tha Bhains sipahee
bihar ke hridai main..
maharashta se chori kiya gayaa..
aur bihar main laya gayaaa...

Mera matlab hai...
agar tum baass ko padhooo ge
tho tumko pathachalegaa...
kaise jaat balom wala kaise bana bhains sipaaahiii....
la la laaa...lala lalaaa...la la laaa...la..lalalaalaaaa.


For more and fuller versions please visit the site
imakemyownsongs.sandy.com

It was my Bros bday and we were planning on celebrating it.
Vidyahonni had come home two days in advance.. a reason to spend time with us.. and so had Ollama..
The three of us, 'Kids'.. Vidyahonni, me bro and myself.. were the limit.. we were all over the place and our room being our haven.
That day.. we are all stuck in our room.. On the bed.. Bored.
Looking around all we could see was books.. pens.. clothes and pillows.
pillows. 'PILLOWS'
Come on.. Pillow fight it is..
Wham.. Boom.. Pow .. Whack.. Puff...
pillow pelting u from all sides... cool...
the cottons coming out now. wow...
Wait.. thats bad.. cottons coming out..
Oh no.. we are gonna get it from Ma..
We find which one had betrayed us.. and collect all the cotton we find.. n stuff it back in.. n calmly stick the pillow back among the others.. now what.. the game has to continue no matter what..
And we settle for air pillows...
Air Pillows???
what a cool choice..
Well you know what happened.. well we went on playin to find that the pillows were going PHUS...
yep i m proud to say that we burst both the air-pillows we had and had to kill the game there coz Ma filled up the rest of our schedule quite well that for the next 2 days we were best angels on earth.....
And the Trophy goes to.......................................

WA-HAT??

"WHAT..??? How could YOU say that..? It was YOU.. not Sandeep annu.. You were the One.. I know coz i was there.. My bro was not even around.. How can you lie..? How can you lie Manju [Manjanna]????"
What led to this outburst from me??? Well lets rewind a bit..

Manjanna is staying with us for a few days.. and already 2 days have passed.Me bros been showing off since. well not required really coz otherwise too he is just like that.. oedering me around.. and kicking me.. and making me look like a fool... ok.. like the fool i was..
Amma was going out that day.. she already had a list of chores ready for US to do..
Us of course meant me n bro.. but i dont know why or how but I ended up doing everything by myself everytime.
So that way amma left giving us numerous orders among which was the Bottle filling job.
Filling bottles with boiled and cooled water to chill in the fridge was a tedious job fer me.. i was too small to use any big vessels so i had to make do with small tumblers or cups.. And i dont know how it was for my bro coz hey.. hes never done that.
We lazed around a bit.. played around.. bro, manjanna and me. n then settled down in front of the TV. Then i remembered the water filling.. and asked bro to come help me do it. U fill half the bottles.. me fill half..
But nope.. he dint budge. He had turned deaf miraculously at that moment.
Nice kid Manjanna got up to help.. I washed all the bottles and kept them in a line all ready.. but surely i cant make him work.. he is a guest after all... So i get myself a tumbler and start with the job.. And Manjanna goes.. 'why do u do it this way.. lemme help you.' and picks up the big vessel with the water and starts pouring it directly into the bottles..
Wow.. Macho.. Sorry boss, i cant pick that one up.. and thats why i settle for this.
He finished all bottles in about 6 mins and we are free..
Yipeeeee.......!!!
see my bro could do the same and help me through.. but.. huh..!!!

In the evening, we are all sitting down for dinner and Ma goes.. who filled the bottles today????
I look at Manjanna.. he looks at me.. we smile at each other..
wow.. annu is gonna get it....
I open my mouth..but Manju cuts me short and goes....
""SANDEEP DID..""

Wha....???????????

HA-HA

Kids run.. fall down... get hurt...
Ok ok.. that happened to me too.. thats why all that intro..
So let me just get to the point.. I had fallen down once and had wounded my knee.. a wound that kept opening again and again coz of a lot of other various accidents... The scar still shines on my left knee... Blink blink it goes...

So.. ya back to the story... I had once fallen down and wounded my knee.. and it hurt like hell... damn hell... and then as it had dried up i fell down again and hurt the same place.. and again one day when it had almost healed i scratched it against my rough sheet and it opened again.. OOwwwwwww........
And so on and so on i went on hurting myself at the same place again and again.. after about the sixth time i started taking extra care and under my strict vigilence my ripe round wound started healing.. slowly but steadily..
Ya u guessed it right.. todays blog is about the seventh time...
We were at ma grandmas place... and it was coconut plucking day.. there were about 100s of coconut lying in the grounds that we were gathering around..
As always we were having damn fun picking up coconuts and throwing it up at the already collected stack from farther and farther..
and after the work we get tender coconut treats..
So me and bro were at the work.. me limping coz i couldnt [well wouldnt] even bend my knee properly as it pulled and hurt..
and as it all neared the end i stopped doing my bit and started my fav job of ordering me bro round.. and as always that got us into a fight.. Me screaming at bro from the balcony and he shouting back from the grounds..
Suddenly he lost temper and threw a coconut stalk..[i dont know what it is called.. but i meant that branch kinda thing with a lot of stalks on which coconuts ang themselves..] at me.. well not exactly at me.. he just threw it my side in anger and it flew across the yard and grazed .. right again... grazed my almost healing knee..
And Voila... there it bleeds again.. great.. it hurts like hell again.. like last time and the time before that and before that and before that...and so on..
My mama took one look at it and tired of the same scene over and over again.. told my bro to take me to the clinic near by and dress the wound.. enough of neospirin and dettol..
So we set out.. got there.. me feeling elated even with all the pain.. i m gonna have a bad looking white band-aid bump on my knee.. ooohhh.. everybody is gonna ask me bout it.. what would the kids from school say.. wow..
and through my tears i was giving interviews of how i went through the pain and what was my experience..
God i dint know what dressing was.. all i knew was it meant applying medicine and tying it up..
The doc sat me on the consulting bed.. and her assistant came in with cotton and tape and some kind of a liquid in a small bottle..
Ok .. its gonna be a liquid.. the better.. it would be soothing..

She looked at my bro.. he looked back.. then both of them looked at me while she took a generous amount of the liquid onto the cotton.. i looked at them.. why were they acting weird????
Then she smiled at me.. i smiled back.. and she dabbed the cotton at my knee quite suddenly..
Ooooowwwwwwwwwww...... a sudden stinging pain went through me... up to my head...
OH MY GOD... its like a 1000 needles being poked into my wound.. and i scream.. loud...
and.. whats that happening at the other end of the room???
I cant believe this.. My loving bro is laughing... LAUGHING.. his head off... WA-HAT????
How could he..? His laugh rang throughout the room..."Ha Ha Haaaaa.."..... his head thrown back clutching his stomach...
and i was still screaming...
The lady just went on saying.. 'nothing beta, nothing..' as if..
I couldnt even see properly even though the work was going on on my knee..

The wound stopped opening with weird accidents after the 8 or 9th time.. now only the scar is left...
But my bros laugh still echoes in my ears... He had the best laugh always.....

Cricket again..

Let me continue with Cricket...
We used to carry cricket to our Grandmas place too.. and play at honnis..
Everybody around used to gather there.. Rajannu, Bubbinnu, Jithannu, Manjanna, Vidya honni, Appapa.. and everybody interested... and it used to be a beeeeg event..
We used to fit ourselves in Honnis Garden.. and play One days, tests, 10 Tens [as in 20 twenty now] and etc etc...
It used to be great fun especially when everybody was in mood..

One such day we had all gathered to play in the morning at around 11.. My vision of the game doesnt show clearly who all were present.. but i m sure there was Bubbynnu, me bro, Manjanna tooo and Vidyahonni at the sidelines.. and of course the star of the show Me.
So we start palying... batting balling as per list drawn.. someones the wicket keeper.... i dont remember.. all others spread out across the garden at places favoured.. Me near me bro.. on his right side... and the batsmans left..
Lemme tell you.. the garden is placed such a way that the batsman has only one choice to hit the ball towards the left.. his right is covered with overgrown bushes.. and me granmas yard beyond.
So the game begins.. it goes on for a while... great game.. we are tiring under the hot midday sun..
Then manjannas turn to bat comes.. me bros balling.... 2 good players.. pressure is building...
OK.. me bro balls... be ready fielders.. I follow the ball... have to keep an eye on it.. manjanna raises his bat.. and 'THUD' goes the hit.. the ball raises itself.. about my height..
Oh.. its flying... uh-oh towards me... i see it... a bright yellow tennis ball... its coming... oh its aiming itself at me..
Oh what do i do.. oh no.. what am i supposed to do...
There it is halfway now.. Still yellow... and its coming fast.. but i can see it as in slow motion... an action replay unfolding in front of me..
Zooming full speed towards its aim in determination.. I still have my eyes on it... Its close.. its closer.. my eyes are gathered at my nose bridge... i see the Bright Yellow one last time and then
"WHAM..!!!!!"
zzzzzip...... BLANK.....






Well am the one blogging so you know nothing much happened.. the ball struck me right in the middle of my forehead.. and everything went blank for sometime.. but after a couple of ice packs.. i could see through the stars twinkling in front of my eyes.. and hear through the bells ringing in my ears... By evening i was fine and up for more except for the bruise up there like a headlight burning black...

Game of Cricket.

Cricket was my Passion when i was a kid.. well it was me bro's... so i kinda dint know of anything else..
We used to play a lot of galli cricket.... in every galli where we could gather friends..
I used to trail behind me bro too when he used to go to his inumerable friends and join them on my bros care of...
I remember going to a lane beyond ours cutting through some houses built in between and squeezing through wedges at the end of our lane.. and there used to gather a gang of my bros friends.. Nithin, Jithin, Gill, Gomez, Ranjith chettan.. sorry if i ve laft anyone out.. my bro and me...
Oooohhhhh...... cricket.. me me me... pick me...
well always the last one to be picked.. it never killed my enthusiasm...
So do i get to bat first???
Nope.. fielding is very important.. you must field..
Oooooooh.. important?.. i like that... so me be a gully??
No no... we need you at the boundary.. that is very very important..
Ooh.. cool.. boundary.. so i get to stop all the fours and maybe catch a prospective six.. super cool.. So i stand here???
No..no.. further at the back.. you catch the ball 'when' i miss.. [pay attention to the choice of words.. its when not if.. so it is likely to happen a lot.. so i m at a very crucial position of the field. super super cool...]

I' m very excited..
we take our places.. i m at the farthest end of the lane
the game begins.. the ball would come my way any time now..
... and i wait...
and wait..
and wait.........
the guy in front of me doesnt miss much.. well ya once or twice it did..
and i also had to fetch the ball when it went out for a six and all that.. well that is a very important job too fetching the ball else how would the game continue???
and well as that doesnt happen much.. and all i do is wait.. i dont even know the scores nor whos turn it is... i m too busy waiting for the ball to come my way..
well i lose interest.... crickets not a girls game anyways...
i feel sleepy.. i feel tired... i sit down.. ok i lie down on my back staring at the sky.. wow its beautiful... and if the ball does now come my way of goes out.. let them get it themselves.. i m tired out feeling important.. well why doesnt my turn to bat come???? I could easily score some fours and a couple of sixes.. what are these guys thinking...?????
anyways this is super... i m not waiting right??
Two ladies from across the lane are watching me from their balcony.. they are smiling.. laughing.. i wave at them.. they wave back... okie.. i must be looking fun here..
and i felt so happy.. atleast now people see me.. i must do this more often..

well then i was truly and really a fool
it is now that i realize.. i might have looked a funny sight lying there in the dirt on the dirty road... and those ladies werent being friendly.. they were enjoying the funny sight..
So Great....

well my turn to bat never came.. and it took me quite some time to realize.. i was made to stand there to do the donkey work.. the boundary was way too much in front of me.. infact just behind the guy in front.. and the score was counted even if i had broken my bones to stop the ball from passing me... nice appreciation of all my hard work...
but for me this part of galli cricket was fun.. even the memory is fun.. of jumping walls..cutting across yards.. looking for the lost ball... running away from people whom we disturbed....
and most of all Waiting for the ball..

One day when i was a kid.. who dint know how to ride a bicycle... and me bro did.. and he used to take me around.. after much begging.. my parents went to Kochi leaving us back home by mistake. Me bro back from his school volunteered to take us on his cycle.. and even though we were not sure of the way we set off, he riding.. me driving pillion.
We cover some distance.. "Bro are you sure of the way??"
"Oh yes, lets carry on.. we will get their if we go straight enough.."

On and on we go, we get to a row of shops splitting up the road into 2.. joining back at the end.. we dont know this part of town...and by some fault the pillion comes loose and rides on while my bro takes the inner side of the road.. i look at him helplessly.. and he shouts dont worry we will meet at the end..
He rides on.. and my pillion carries moving itself on and on... we cant see each other.. i m scared.. and just like he said we meet at the end.. which turns out to be a bus bay.
We see buses saying Fort Kochi and jump in joy.. all we have to do is get onto one and go all the way to our place.. Yeeeaaahh..!!!!!!!!!
We climb a stalled bus.. the one to leave next and take the first seat behind the driver..
Am hungry and say so.. me bro gets me Krackjack.. we open the packet and take one each.. just as we start munching on it settling down for the long trip.. misfortune strikes and the pack falls outta my hands to the floor and the biscuits all turn powder..
I turn to me bro and look at him with my puppy dog eyes.. he is already digging into his pocket for money..
He gets down to get me a new packet of biscuit from across the road.. and just as he turns his back to me our bus starts..
I get frantic.. I wave my hands.. but no voice comes out.. he doesnt see me.. he doesnt hear me.. the bus starts to move.. i wave at the driver to stop.. and point to my bro.. but he pays no attention..
My bro turns with a pack of Krackjack and a smile.. only to find the bus moving away... and theres nothing he can do.. he cannot possibly cross the road in such short time to get to the bus..
His smile fades.. he holds up the pack and waves at me sadly...
I ve lost me bro... we will never be able to find him..

Its too heart breaking and scary......
I wake up drenched in sweat.... God..
I look around to find me bro asleep on the next bed.. Relief...
Fear.. if ever this dream was to come true.. My eyes well up in tears.. I cry.. beg to God for this to never happen.. I promise to be good.
and the whole of next week i m good to me bro.. i do everything he tells me.. i dont fight with him.. i m his dog...
i m happy my bro wasnt lost in the city..

I knew it was just a dream.. but it was the worst i've ever had.. and it had given me a lot of sleepless nights.. for weeks after and later on for days i remembered it....

I Love my Bro...

Back to US.
We shifted rooms.. from the left one to the right. New room- excitement, our own beds- over excitement.. table clothes evrything only ours.. over the top excitement...
We slept.. wow... feeling so grown up..
Middle of the night.. my eyes open.... the rooms dark... moonlight streaming in through the windows.. the papaya tree outside the window casting a very eerie shadow.... there are figures jumping on the walls...
I m not scared... I m not scared.. ok..a bit.. no a hell lot..
Oh.. i cant expect any solace from my bro sleeping on the other side of the room on his bed.. he sleeps like a log.. and has no heart for silliness like this.. I have to somehow get to my parents room... I crawl out of bed.. and slowly slink away.. reaching the door i just close my eyes... i dont even wanna see where i m going.. or whats happening outside ma room.. just wanna get to my parents.. i just run and get to them.. Comfort.. I sleep off..
Next day me bro.. 'U dint sleep in our room last night????'
That night.. We in our room.. asleep..
My eyes open.. middle of the night.. i remember the sights of the previous night... i dont wanna see them again.. i dont even wanna know if they exist today..
I crawl out of bed.. get on all fours.. have ta somehow get to the door.. i start slowly crawling towards my aim..
And from behind comes a voice, "Where are you going???"
I turn back to see a miniature version of Batman in the dark.. with the cape and all... on my bros bed..
I rewind myself.. crawl back.. get on bed.. lie down.. eyes closed..
Me bro takes off the sheet that he had draped onto his shoulders.. takes a peep at me.. settles down.
I keep rolling.. i shift sides.. i m still scared.. i cant sleep..
I ve ta get to me parents room.. I need ma MOM....
How do i get to the door....
I slowly slide off the bed.. not at all raising myself.. i drop to the floor over the edge of the bed....
I drag myself on the floor.. army style.. on my stomach.. I somehow have to get to the door.. once there i knew i can make a dash for it...
The thought made me more determined.. i gritted ma teeth and pulled meself across the floor.. without making a sound.. Oh i m almost there..... and behind me the Batman rose again.."Roopee where are you going??"
Again rewind.. i slide myself back.. the same way i had come.. on my stomach.. moving backwards.. hoping me bro had not actually seen me.. and cant see me across the floor...and slid back over the edge.. and on bed i was... eyes closed tight... not moving a twitch.. and then WHAM..!!! I was asleep...

I did get away with running to me parents room at the middle of the night for quite some time until i lost the fear..
But i still cant wipe that Batman off my memory...

Power cut way back in the 1990s was a part and parcel of lives.
We have had our fair share of cuts too. Power cuts were for families time to spend together in the light of a single candle, for students to bunk studies.. for dads freedom from some tele serial etc.. Power Cut for me was the best music teacher i ve ever had.
We lived in a lane.. a housing colony kind.. with few houses that were noisy and lively like ours.
Power cuts were when we used to all get out to enjoy the moonlight and the family opposite to ours came out too.. and we all enjoyed the gup shup. Last time i talked bout Mahesh.. this time the hero is Manoj annu.. elder bro to mahesh..
He was the singer in our lane..
very famous for his voice, p.js and his insincerity towards nythin n everything.. [no offence meant].
When power used to fail us we all used to get together under the moonlight.. me n bro on our wall.. manoj annu mahesh n etc on theirs.
and there we used to sit cracking jokes and stuff laffing away in the dark..
only our voices gave us away..
One day the singer in Manoj annu couldnt stand the quiet and there in the darkness erupted his one and ever fav song.. "Uyire... Uyiree... ennai unnodu kalanthai vidu...." and slowly joined the back ground and back up..
It was quite eerie to others..
All they could see was darkness.. nothing else moving.. and only drags of Uyire.... floating through the air..
It was one of the most fantastic times in my life... i learnt the science of sound travelling faster and longer at night..
and even now whenever theres a power failure the first thing that comes in our minds is Uyire...... though the voices have faded away.. the memory lives..

I have heard people still avoid that part of the lane after dark.. and especially during a power failure.. lest they wanna hear the song playing itself in the darkness...

Why pick on my bro all the time when I have my own stories I can say...
Like how stupid me and Mahesh my neighbour were when we were little kids of 7-8. Real cool we were. We had ideas that were out of the world. Totally out of the whole world.. like how we could clean the well by sucking water from it through a pipe creating vaccum and letting it all flow out... and then how we could dry sugarcane juice to make sugar..etc..
Ya we were kinda scientific fools..
We used to go around digging through out the yard surrounding his place looking for water. We used to make holes by rotating thin rods in the ground and used to go deep until we find water seeping in abundantly.. so and so.. the whole yard had innumerable little wells of no use. It was nearly impossible to step around the yard.
One day we in our hyper active states threw Mahesh's ball too far away.. and we dint have another at hand that was not small to be not able to catch or big to not look like little kids.. So we borrowed our other neighbour Rahul's Yellow Ball for the time being. We palyed 'catch' quite energetically.. lost to the world.. and in our half minds split the ball...
Ooops.. Rahuls gonna be so mad.. We got scared. What do we do now..??? we cant give it back to him..and not not give it back to him.. nor could we tell him we killed the Yellow Ball.
We grew frantic with every second.. and in the end decided to get rid of this ball and get one identical to it and 'return' it to Rahul. We creeped outta the gate..lest we should be spotted by him..and crawled into the next plot of land. We dug a BIG deep hole under the cashew apple tree and buried the dead Yellow Ball. We even placed a huge stone at the site to mark its burial. Payed silent homage for its peace and then Mahesh got another Yellow Ball identical to the last ball... and we had to rub it on the ground, make scratches on it.. give it old age lines.. and all that that had to be done to make it look used and blistered. We returned the Yellow Ball to Rahul.. and he never knew..
He was happy, we were happy. All settled.. nobody has to know.. Only one fear and kind of an exciting fantasy we carried with us for a long time..

'What if a tree grew out of the spot that bore Yellow Balls....?????'

Making ma Space..

My bro has always been conceited bout his physique and his being elder to me.. read power over me.. and for me it has always sucked.. Not that it isnt advantageous at times.. But he has always worked his power over me without any shame and guilt.
Like when we were kids... we shared a bed and he always made it clear that i was to fit myself in a small corner and not expect me to get my half of the bed as it is really supposed to be. I still dont know for what reason but he used to sleep diagonally across the bed leaving very little space for me.. and me never one to keep quite bout injustice used to fight with him for more space.. I used to try to push him away.. pull him away.. kick him outta my space.. but it never really worked.. but yeah it used to give me an inch more space.. yes of course sometimes i did get my full side if only for some time.. after which it was back to square one.. me huddled up bean shaped near my pillow.. I owned that place.. and me bro sprawled across the bed.
One Sunday morning.. a particularly lazy sunday morning.. i woke up quite early to find myself feeling cramped and stuck with no space to even stretch out... My sleepy anger woke up.. reached its peak.. I started pushing my bro with all the strength my adrenaline shot up through me. "Move away.. mooooovvve away.. arrrrgggghhh.....!!!!!!!!! Move....." I tried to heave him off... But my little hands could do even very little towards that case. I lost.. I moved away in a huff.. rolled over to the brink of my bed... shouting at him to go to hell and that i will do with this little piece of land...

Now what happened next comes in my bros narration..

I dint move.. I acted to be in deep sleep.. dint move a wink. She rolled to the end of the bed. I opened my eyes slowly.. a slit.. and saw her turned away from me almost hanging over the end..
I closed my eyes.. lemme get back to sleep.
"Thud.." came a noise and when i opened ma eyes.. i saw her slowly raising herself off the ground.... She had fallen off the edge.. She looked at me.. i closed ma eyes.. she thought i dint see.. and got back on bed... away from the edge this time and slept off...
It was all i could do to not laugh...... My little sisters nautanki anger..

This is how i cut my nights with him...

Beeeg beeeg Hand..

My bro is big guy..
So big that his feet sticks outta my bed....
OK..OK.. thatcs a bit of an exaggeration.. fine.
My bros a big guy now..
way back when he was not.. he was one of the most wriggly kid ever.. always doing things to annoy mama, working up all sorts of mischiefs, being and tryin ta be naughty, never doing lessons, ever playing games, ever fighting with me.... Mama used to pull out her hair when it comes to dealing with him.. well she used to pull quite some off his head too..
Well so today i reveal to the world that my mama has always been free with her hands..
To give.. be it anything.. food, clothes, shelter or lashings..
Shes had it all tried on my Bro who never learnt even though..
well it was not that bad.. but ye seen through a 7-8 year old me it was scary..
may be thats why it has left its impact on my weak memory...
k so, me n bro used to always fight.. hitting out at each other and scratching at each other.. but hey i never used to get through without crying for my bro was back then too quite strong.. His blocking with his forearm showed me stars.. even the Alpha Centuri...and few from the Andromeda up quite close..
And my mother used to save me with her usual interference..
As he grew, his bones grew in strength too.. i learnt not to mess with him.. other than through mama..
One day my mother was with bro teaching him something from his lesson..and my bro the squirmy kid that he was, was paying attention to something happening elsewhere.. way more interesting to him than his books..
and ma lost it.. she raised her hand and WHACK...!!!!!
Wow... such a resounding slap that was....
It had caught me bro unawares right on his arm..... and he was sitting there looking at mama in surprise.. no other reaction.. i was watching his face for signs of pain but there was none.. nothing.. He was just staring at mama with a weird helpless expression on his face, for she was doubled up in pain.. Her hand swollen and huge....
Thats how Mama stopped using her hands on him..
God. it came all out on me.. Run for cover.......

I Love my Mama.

Karate moves..

I ve always said me bro is a devil behind all his sweet innocent smiles.. and i still hang on to the statement.
Like that time when i was awed by my bros super image as a fighter.. and was keen on him teaching me a few defences.. And he promised to show me some cool karate moves..

He threw his arms around.. kicked a few times in the air.. and said these were the basic moves.

The most important one is...
Stand facing your opponent.
Take the first bow.. and when your opponent bows..
Run for your life.. before he straightens up.

When I bugged him for something seriously.. he said he will show me a manoeuvre which involved blinding the opponent temporarily. The enthusiastic thing tht i was went forward totally for the new move.
Me bro caught hold of my shoulders.. I closed my eyes for the fear of really getting pokes in my eyes or somtething.. and the next thing i knew was i was lying on the ground there all covered in dirt, flapping my arms around like a duck..
Open my eyes i find no one around.. I called out to me bro..
I was met with silence....

I walked insie.. all dejected and hurt and seething with anger....
and it dint help one bit to find me bro sitting at the kitchen table having hot tea and laughing away with my aunt...

Huh...!!!!
But thats how i learnt the sweeping the opponents feet off the ground move by putting your leg behind his and pulling.
And no hats off to me Bro..

Sandy

Ok so now with two friends introduced..lemme come to me Big Bro
Big Bro- Sandy
Height- About 2- 3 inches taller than me.
Weight- Surely heavier than me.
Built- Ummmmm... I dont know what to write there.. Must ask him.
Social Status- AHEM...!!!!!

I love me Bro. Like every sis wud say even when shes plotting to kill her bro.
Sibling Love- Hitting each other, kicking under the tables, slapping, pulling each others hair off, getting the other in trouble, pushing and pulling in a variety of combinations, tearing off the others homework, rolling the other in dirt, fooling the other, water/pillow/book/stick/toy/stone fights...
We ve had all that.. i ve even bitten his shoulder blue..
Yuck...
Heeeeeeeeeee.....
But i still claim to love him.
Hes the best when it comes to getting my Mob recharged... and the worst when he doesnt get me Ice Cream on his way back from work... or doesnt get outta his room... or doesnt drop me around to places i wanna go.

My fav activities involving me bro-

1. Inviting me friends over, literally kicking him outta his own room and takin over the comp [my bro got a laptop to get outta this..] messing up the place.. n leaving him outta the fun. [He cant invite his friends over for stay.. haaaaaa....]

2. Getting really yummy things to eat, finishing up my share before he comes back home and then sharing the rest with him. [Double bonanza..]

3. Screaming at him for tiny things like a misplaced hanky or sock.

4. Cleaning his room so that he can mess it up and I can scream at him and get mother to go at him too..

5. Stuffing his clothes into his cupboard so he has no choice but pull it out and let everything fall out which leaves him no choice but stuff it back.. all dirty and balled up... and then complaining bout it..

6. Cooking new dishes and stuffing them into his mouth when hes busy at the computer not giving him even a chance to think or know whats happening.

7. Fighting for the bathroom when hes in a hurry.

8. Who gets to brush first..?? Me. me.. me... Yew.. the pastes all squeezed out. Why dont u have the first go bro? [Heeeeeeeeeeeee........]

9. Gossiping bout him to mom and working her up against him.

10. Playing the innocent little kid and getting him to get my mob recharged and also get me other available offers.

11. Sneaking through his wallet for cash.

12. Picking up all the coins he leaves around his desk.. n stashing away any cash he forgets in his pant pockets.

Ooops... My list can go on.. but i cant..
Gotta go.. Must find a song to download on the pretext of which i can sit online for some more time..
Ciao..!!